The Woman In Me
by theologygirl
Summary: One year after PD1, Mia spends the summer with her Grandmother. As she contemplates life as a royal she wonders about the path Clarisse has chosen, and so does Clarisse. C&J, of course.


DISCLAIMER: As always, the people in the sandbox belong to Meg, Garry & Walt and I just play with them. This is my first "songfic" and I thank Shania for the inspiration. The lyrics are hers and they're beautiful.

* * *

Mia sat by the pool, on a rare break from her princess lessons. Her grandmother had a meeting with her press secretary and Mia had been excused for the afternoon. Charlotte had been asked to join her, as even in her 'off' time Clarisse saw no reason for Mia to waste a moment of precious time.

"Charlotte, can we talk about something other than the members of parliament and their wives for a while?"

Charlotte grinned. "Of course, princess. There's more to being a princess than taking lessons, but don't tell your grandmother I said that!"

Mia sprawled on her lounge chair and kicked off her flip-flops. "Honestly, Charlotte, I don't know how she does what she does day in day out, year after year."

"She's very dedicated to her country, Mia, she loves her people. That's why she does it."

"I know, but, geez, she never seems to get time for herself."

Charlotte nodded in agreement, but their conversation was interrupted.

"Ladies." Joseph had come to tell them the Queen was ready to resume lessons.

Mia pulled her hat down over her eyes. "No! Not so soon. Can't she relax for five minutes?"

"Princess, Her Majesty is a very busy woman. She has a country to run, as you may want to take note of." His words were serious, but his tone was gentle, knowing the girl was losing out on her young adulthood with the weight of responsibility now on her shoulders. "Her Majesty awaits."

Charlotte and Mia followed Joseph inside and up to the Queen's office, and back to work.

0-0-0-0-0

After several more hours of etiquette lessons, public speaking practice and more details on diplomacy than Mia could take in, finally the day drew to a close. Mia gathered her things and prepared to return to her own room.

"Grandma?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"You are an incredibly strong woman. You do all this work for Genovia and you rarely even think of yourself."

Clarisse looked up, startled. "Oh, Mia. It's my job, I've trained for it my whole life. I couldn't imagine doing anything else." She softened her tone. "You'll love it just as much as I do, I promise."

Mia wasn't so sure. "I hope so, Grandma. But I'm sure it must have been easier for you when Grandfather was alive."

Clarisse set her pen down and stood, coming around to the front of her desk. "I'm not sure what you're getting at."

Mia began to be unsure of starting that particular conversation. "I guess I mean that having someone to share your life with might make the job a little easier, that's all."

"I had a great friend for many years. It's been difficult being without him, but I manage." She attempted a smile but didn't convince herself, let alone Mia.

Mia merely nodded and fell silent. She looked at her grandmother, still beautiful and vibrant, and full of life. Somehow it felt wrong that she was alone. "Well, I think I'll turn in. 'Night, Grandma."

Clarisse watched her granddaughter go, and a frown settled on her face. Just what was Mia trying to say? Did she see something in the path Clarisse had chosen that bothered her? Taking the sweater from the back of her chair, she walked to the terrace and leaned against the railing She looked out over the front garden and its many millions of twinkling lights and from somewhere close by she heard music start to play. Mia had opened her window and turned on her stereo and it spilled out into the still night.

_I'm not always strong  
__And sometimes I'm even wrong  
__But I win when I chose  
__And I can't stand to lose_

_But I can't always be  
__The rock that you see  
__When the nights get too long  
__And I just can't go on_

_The woman in me  
__needs you to be  
__The man in my arms  
__To hold tenderly  
__'cause I'm a woman in love  
__and it's you I run to  
__Yeah the woman in me  
__needs the man in you_

Clarisse was practically rooted to the spot as she heard the haunting words of the song.

She brushed a tear from her eye. Ridiculous, she thought, crying over a silly song. But deep down she knew it wasn't the song, it was the bitter truthfulness in Mia's words that hurt the most. She was alone, but could do nothing about it. She could run a country but was powerless over her own heart. She had longed to be in love with her husband, but it had never happened, and it never seemed appropriate as queen to pursue a relationship with anyone else.

She almost laughed to herself. Like it was just anyone else she had considered! The only man to ever make her heart flutter, to make her blush, and to keep her awake nights with thoughts of him was hardly just any man. But duty would always have to win out over love.

Had she just admitted that? That she actually loved him? She leaned heavily against the balustrade and sighed. This was dangerous territory. She had plenty of years left as Queen, and it just wouldn't do to be thinking this way. It was hard enough to face him without admitting to herself how deeply her feelings went.

Taking a deep breath she declared aloud "Clarisse Renaldi, you are being a silly woman. There is absolutely no room in your life for love!" However, the effect the music had on her heart told her that her brave words were hollow.

_The woman in me  
__needs you to be  
__The man in my arms  
__To hold tenderly  
__'cause I'm a woman in love  
__and it's you I run to  
__Yeah the woman in me  
__needs the man in you_

He stood in the doorway, watching her. She was beautiful, and even though it had been his job to watch her all these years, he'd have done it without pay, just to be near her. Her grace, poise, sense of humour and fun had kept him sane, made him feel somehow more alive than he'd ever thought possible.

He had heard the song coming from Mia's room and watched as Clarisse agonized with herself. He couldn't stop himself. In just two steps he was beside her, his hand on her shoulder.

"Clarisse."

She turned in surprise, trying to cover her tears, but to no avail. "Oh! I didn't know you had come, how long…?"

"Long enough to see that something is bothering you." Joseph wiped another tear from her cheek. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She swallowed hard and shook her head. "I was just being silly. It's been a long day and I'm just tired, that's all. Really."

He gave her the look that was reserved for only her. The look that said he knew her better than anyone and he wasn't buying her story for a minute. "This isn't like you."

She turned away from him, facing the twinkling lights once more. "Perhaps. Something Mia said, I suppose, made me think about things."

"Want to share?" He covered her hand on the balustrade with his own. "Sometimes two heads are better than one."

"What about two hearts?" Had she just said that? She was losing it for sure. Maybe he hadn't heard; he was acting as though he hadn't.

In fact, he had heard her very clearly and only shock kept him from replying straight away. She was finally ready to talk about them, and suddenly it scared him. He gathered the courage and turned to face her. "Yes, two hearts are certainly better than one. Especially when one belongs to you, and the other…" he paused, "to me."

Talking wasn't necessary after all, as Joseph gathered her in his arms. Gradually they began swaying to the music, letting the lyrics speak for both of them.

_When the world wants too much  
__and it feels cold and out of touch  
__It's a beautiful place  
__when you kiss my face_

_The woman in me  
__needs you to be  
__The man in my arms  
__To hold tenderly  
__'cause I'm a woman in love  
__and its you I run to  
__Yeah the woman in me  
__needs the man in you_

Long after the music faded away into the night, Clarisse lifted her head from Joseph's shoulder.

"Thank you."

"For?"

"For being the man in my arms."

* * *

Mia smiled from the darkness of her balcony as she looked over and saw her grandmother in the loving arms of her Head of Security. She picked up her cordless phone and dialled.

"It's Mia. You were right, the song worked. pause Yes, I saw him in the hall and started the music when she was on the balcony. pause Just like you said. They're still over there dancing. pause Mm, hmm. They're kissing right now. pause Yeah, I know. Ten bucks. You'll get it in the morning. Good night, Shades."

**THE END**


End file.
